Movie Marathon Saturday
Had to run into Studio City. Since my new ATM card has not arrived yet, I needed to go to the bank to get cash.
Its a Movie Marathon day, and a friend and I are going to catch two matinees.
I stopped and had lunch at the Koo-Koo-Roos in Studio City .
Turns out my friend was just up the street, so she met up with me.
There was some discussion about instead of doing 2 movies today, maybe did we want to see the Studio City Christmas Open House ?
But I didn't think with my Radiation Burns on my left side, and how tired I am feeling, that I would last long walking up and down Ventura Blvd.
Like I told my friend "Sitting through two movies I can do. Sitting is good. But not walking, I will tired out to quickly."
We arrived at The Arclight in Hollywood, in time for the 2:20 show of Rent in the Cinerama Dome .
We got seats in the first row balcony. Which is best for me, since I am so dern short.
Whenever I have tried to sit in any other seat in the Cinerama Dome, I always end up with a person's head in front of my view of the screen.
The Dome is a Hollywood Landmark, and a gorgeous theatre. But the seating is not on a steep enough incline for me.
But the first row of the balcony was perfect.
I enjoyed "Rent" . I really liked the music. I just thought the running time of 2 hours and 15 minutes seemed long to me.
I guess thats not to long for a movie these days. And even though I liked the movie, it just seemed like it could have ended sooner than it did.
I have never seen the stage performance, so it was all new for me.
Rosario Dawson was outstanding in this. I bet she ends up getting nomiated for an Oscar.
And I was happy to see many of the cast from the stage production in the movie. It really made this movie a "Musical".
And the Musical is one genre of film that we don't have enough of these days.
We stayed through half of the Credits, and then we had to dash over to the Arclight Theatres on the second floor.
My friend had not seen the celebrity portraits on display on the second floor, and she loves Benicio Del Toro.
I told her if she had a big enough purse, I would created a diversion so she could grab the pic. No, we didn't do it.
The second movie of the Movie Marathon was "Kiss Kiss Bang Bang" .
Its a Detective story with alot of dark humor.
Both Robert Downey Jr and Val Kilmer were great in it.
There were some parts (I don't want to give out a "Spoiler") in the movie, where I laughed harder than ever. Robert Downey Jr is such a great comedian.
After the second movie we ended up at Schwab's for dinner. It was very crowded.
And it was so windy and cold outside. It was just freezing walking back across the street to the parking area.
Very windy for the Los Angeles area.
Once home, in the nice warm apartment, I looked the movies up on the interent.
I went to see "The Ten Commandments" at the Kodak Theatre back in October 2004. I remembered reading that Val Kilmer had said he was Christian.
So I found Val Kilmer's Official Website . And I clicked around the links and read Spirituality.com , which is the official website for Christian Science. There is a 43 minute interview with Val Kilmer at the website. The interview talks alot about Acting and Spirituality, and thats something I find really interesting.
Psychics and Prophecy
I had an interesting conversation with a friend. She accompanied a friend to a psychic.
Her friend paid, but the guy gave her a reading free of charge. He told her she would go out of town twice before the holidays - she never travels - and it turned out her company sent her on 2 business trips.
She has never been asked to go on a business trip before.
There were other things he told her as well.
She asked me what I thought about it.
I said "Well, yes, I believe in it. But I don't think you should seek after it, because you never know where it is coming from, Good or Bad."
I told her a story how over 10 years ago, I went to a psychic right before I moved.
And the psychic told me alot of very specific things that were true. She knew I was in the process of moving into a new house.
She new alot about my new Landlord, his chosen profession and personality and everything.
She told me specifically all the problems I would have with my house and landlord in the future.
But in the end, I regretted going to see the psychic.
Because none of what she told me really helped me in the long run.
And because I realized that I should put my faith in God and trust Him to take care of everything.
I didn't like someone going into that "realm" and picking up things about my life.
Its not natural, its not right, and its not spiritually wise.
I compared this to a time in a Bible Study group where one of the guys had a prophecy for me.
After our prayer meeting, he pulled me aside privately, and told me "You are going to be accused falsely of things you did not do. There will be alot of lies told about you."
It happened that a group of women in the bible study said things about me.
One of the woman had started a womans prayer breakfast, and she invited everyone in the group except me. And obviously, from some of the weird comments people had started to make to me - they was some discussion going on about me.
One woman that I somewhat knew asked me "Who are your friends? None of us can figure out who you hang out with."
I just looked at her - I wanted to say, Well, not you, you and your friends don't ask me to your prayer group or haven't befriended me.
But I didn't even bother, the question was so ridiculous and gossip driven, that I would not answer.
Then, in addition to that, another woman had completely misunderstood something I had said to her. We both were interested in the same guy. Another friend had advised me to just chat with her and bring it out into the open.
When I did this, she completely took it the wrong way and thought I was telling her to stay away from the guy. No matter what I said to her, I could not convince her that I was approaching her as a friend, so we could be honest with eachother about it. It became another source of problems and gossip.
So I ended up quitting the bible study group. And eventually changing Churches.
But I always wondered why God had given me advance warning.
I didn't ask for it. God just gave it to me.
I know for a fact that the guy who gave me the prophecy had no idea any of this stuff was going on in the background.
He was above all that, and didn't associate with those kinds of people. He was very wise and very mature.
In my opinion, these are two different things.
Psychics - people who seek after knowing the future. And in the long run, they don't really tell you anything specific that would help you.
Prophecy - a word from God not sought after. God gives it as a gift, in order to help or protect you.
I have another friend, who is Atheist. Sometimes when I am around him, weird things happen. He swears I am psychic.
Once I was with him at the LA County Fair. We were in one of those huge buildings.
I said "We need some chairs and tables in front of a band where we can listen to music, put our feet up and drink margaritas."
We opened the door to go outside - and there it was exactly as I described it. Margarita machines, tables and a Band.
My atheist friend looked at me like he had seen a ghost.
I told him "No I'm not psychic - I am Christian, God works spiritually in my life."
But he refuses to see the Spiritual Realm in any form.
Bank Screw Up
Remember when my car gotten broken into a little while back ?
Well, I wasn't sure I had tossed any receipts onto the floor or into the trunk. The vandals took every scrap of paper, so I was really worried about my ATM / Debit card, since thats the main thing I use.
The next Saturday, I went to the bank to cancel my old card, and get a new one.
That was the weekend before Thanksgiving.
The "New Accounts" person helped me, and said I would have it in less than 5 business days.
I got a bunch of cash to last through the holiday.
I figured it would take alittle while longer than usual due to the holiday.
And I waited. And waited.
Still no card.
I called them today.
That wonderful "New Accounts" person, really did cancel my old ATM/Debit card.
But she never put in an order for a new card !
The woman in Customer Service over the phone, just put in an order for a new card today.
Can I scream now ?
Oh, no I'll just make another trip to the bank to get cash.
How did people survive back in the Old Days before there were ATM machines....
Doctors and Communication
Called my regular Family Doctor, and made an appointment for him to see me this afternoon, after my radiation treatment.
Since the Radiation Doctor has gone into "God" mode - I need to talk to a medical professional who will actually communicate with me.
And I know my family Doctor will look out for the rest of my body, not just the cancer cells in my breast.
so I trust him to tall me if there is something else going on.
So I went and had the "Boost" Treatment. It is a shorter treatment than the regular radiation.
And so far I don't feel any different.
Just mad at the Radiation Doctor.
Then I drove over to my regular Family Doctor, who is a somewhat cheerful guy. And knows that he can't pull anything over on me.
I was in the paper hospital gown when he walked in.
"Ok, let me see it" he said.
I pulled the hospital gown so he could see the huge radiation burn under my armpit.
"Ouch !" said my doctor, "Believe it or not, I have seen worse. This is actually pretty mild."
I rolled my eyes.
And he chuckled.
"Don't worry" He said "This is normal. Keep putting the Aloe Vera on it and the Aquafor."
I showed him my swollen left hand.
I told him about the stupid conversation the other day with the Radiation Doctor where he tried to convince me that I injured my hand.
"This is edema, because the tissue in your arm is irritated from the radiation. Chances are, about a month after the radiation is over with this will go away. It is not permanent, I can 99% guarantee it."
He said "Look, you are an intelligent person. If, after one month after the radiation is over - it has not gone down - Come and see me, or go see your radiation Oncologist. You know not to fall through the cracks. Don't live with any swelling.
If the swelling does not go down, we can do things. We can fix it. For now it will be swollen because of the Radiation. But I am positive, it will go down about a month after you are finished. I see this all the time."
See - a simple statement. Explaining it to me. Making me feel reassured. Now I understand what is going on.
I said "Okay, so after examining me, you think everything is normal?"
"Yes" he said, "Everything is normal for where you are at with the radiation. If it gets worse, come and see me again. Or come back to see me once you are done. But you are fine for what you are going through. Just hang in there for now."
And he chuckled, and patted me on the shoulder.
Ah, Communication. I feel so much better.
More Lies from the Doctor
My appointment was later in the day. And when I arrived at the scheduled time, the Radiation Doctor was still on the freeway. He was a half hour late.
I waited for him. Of course, I could never expect a doctor to wait for me.
I refused to change until he got there. I was not going to sit around in a little hospital gown, freezing to death, waiting for the doctor. I changed once he got there.
I went into the exam room.
He looked at me "So what can I do for you today?" - like he had never even talked to the Nurse.
I showed him my left side, under my armpit, where I have a huge radiation burn.
He said we are going to stop the regular radiation for now. And move on to the "boost" portion.
During the boost, they only radiate the section of the breast that had the tumor. Not the entire breast.
This will give the skin under my arm time to heal.
I said "You said it is a minimum of 5 boost treatments. But you want me to do 8."
He said "Thats right."
I said "You are only getting the minimum of 5. I'm not doing any more than that."
He stuttered and stammered, not really knowing what to say.
Then I held up my swollen left hand. "And what are you going to do about this?"
The stupid doctor and his idiot nurse, denied the swelling in my left hand.
Once again it was all my fault.
"Are you exercising it?"
"I think you over-used it"
"Is it sprained .It looks injured."
And the most ridiculous thing I have heard yet "It might be carpal tunnel syndrome".
These two liars were completely denying that I had edema in my hand. Or lymphodema.
They might as well deny that I am having any Radiation at all.
They just pull the veil over their eyes, and pretend its all not happening.
I can't get a decent answer.
Finally The Doctor said "If we rest it for a few days, and move over to the Boost radiation, it will help your hand recover."
I said "What happens after the Boost?"
He said "We move back to the regular radiation treatment."
I said "Not if my hand looks like this. I won't finish"
His answer "I think you should finish."
My reply "Then send me to a physical therapist, so I can Get the swelling in my hand down."
The doctor "I don't think you need a physical therapist."
"But I want to see one."
"Physical Therapists don't understand Radiation."
I replied "My hand needs to go back to normal. If my hand does not go back to normal, I won't complete the rest of the radiation."
"I think you need to finish the radiation."
"Then send me to a Physical therapist so the swelling in my hand will go down."
Doctor: You don't need a physical therapist.
Me: After the boost treatments are over, if the hand is no longer swollen, I will continue the regular treatments.
He was happy about that.
Me: "If the hand is still swollen, I need to see a physical therapist before I will continue on with the treatments. If the hand is still swollen, I won't continue on."
He looked at the floor, and stuttered and stammered.
Then we moved into the Radiation Room.
They had me lay on the table in a different posture. With a wedge underneath me, so I was almost on my side.
The technicians drew on my left breast with Magic Markers. And made diagrams.
The radiation machine is setup differently. It looks more like a camera now. With the lens pointed directly on my breast.
I asked "How do you know the radiation won't go directly to my heart?"
The answer was "The Doctor Will be figuring out the measurements."
I didn't ask to many questions. They were to busy. And the few I asked, were answered in such a brushed-off manner that I didn't care.
I did hear him schedule the treatment for 7 fractions. Not the 8 like he told me.
I think he figures on me leaving after the 5th one. But maybe he can manipulate me, and get me to finish all 7.
No radition for me today ! Yeah ! just diagrams.
As I left I got into another discussion with the doctor.
This conversation was the same run-around I had gotten before.
Twice, I specifically asked for a prescription to see the Physical Therapist.
Twice, the doctor answered with "I don't think you need it."
If you want me to respect your opinion, You need to earn it. So far, this doctor, hasn't earned it.
Swelling & Radiation
Went in for my Radiation Treatment today. What is this - number 22 of the 28 total ?
The technicians said "How are you?"
And as usual, I tell them how I am.
My hand and fingers are still swollen. Remember when I showed them to you before Thanksgiving ?
Then I said "And my armpit looks like someone held a hot burning iron against it."
The nurse came in to look at me.
Then she measured my upper left arm, and compared it to my upper right arm.
My bottom left arm - to my bottom right arm.
My left wrist - to my right wrist.
In every measurement, my left arm is larger than the right.
It is swollen.
And then I showed her the big huge burn that was once my armpit.
As I went in for my radiation, she went in to her office, and called my doctor.
Wonders of wonders - she actually got a hold of him.
And even more wonders - he was coming to see me tomorrow afternoon.
I dreamt about the time I was in Romeo and Juliet in my sophomore year at Prospect High School.
Have you ever dreamt about something that had happened in the past ?
Gone over a childhood event while you were asleep ?
Well, thats what I did last night ....
Was this 1974/1975 or there-a-bouts ....
I don't remember much about the dream, just that it was going over events that had already happened.
It seemed every girl in the school auditioned for the part of Juliet. Of course, I did too.
The audition consisted of the scene where Romeo and Juliet kiss.
So about 50 innocent Midwestern guys and girls had to kiss a stranger for our audition.
I guess the teacher/director wanted to make sure we could do the kiss on stage.
After I kissed the strange boy, the Teacher/Director said so everyone in the theatre could hear:
"Oh, honey, sweetie - you're too short !"
My friends did not let me forget that comment for a long time.
I did get cast - in the role of one of the servants.
Shakespeare wrote it for a Male Servant.
The Teacher/Director changed it to a Maid named Beatrice.
And that was me.
With one line. You think I could remember what the line was, but I sure don't.
I guess I am dreaming about my first time on stage, because I am thinking about the Acting I have been doing in my Adult life.
And after the Breast Cancer stuff is over - do I want to continue ?
I've been on a break from Acting for 6 months now while I have taken care of my health.
Sometimes I am really anxious to get the 8x10 glossys and resumes together and get back out there bounding the pavement.
I've been holding off at looking at the Casting Websites like LA Casting .
But now that creative itch is starting to rise up again..
I can feel that burning sensation starting again... The need to Act.
To go on Audition after Audition after Audition.
Yeah, I'll be doing it all again real soon.
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