A Day of Movies
I didn't plan on it - but I saw two Christopher Plummer movies today.
First I joined LA People Connection for breakfast and a movie.
We met at Dinah's coffee shop in Culver City.
Then we went over to The Bridge Cinema at the Howard Hughes Promenade . This is such a gorgeous movie theatre. If you are ever in Culver City, you have to have the experience of seeing a movie there.
We saw "Must Love Dogs" . It was really cute romantic comedy. Christopher Plummer played the Father in the movie.
Here are some pics I took while at The Bridge :
Then, later that night, I went to see a movie at a Catholic church out in Burbank. They were showing "The Sound of Music" outside on the wall of one of the buildings.
It was the perfect night out. The weather was warm. I had a really comfortable lawn chair. And everytime Julie Andrews would start to sing, I would fall asleep. I love Julie Andrews, and I love the Sound of Music.
But after all the stress I have been through lately with my medical tests, I think her voice was just calming and relaxing. I slept through most of the movie.
My friends were really understanding. I told them due to the medical problems, I haven't been this relaxed in weeks. I think Julie Andrews beautiful voice just completely relaxed me.
Then it took me a few days. But I looked it up on Internet Movie Database . And Christopher Plummer was the leading man in "The Sound of Music". So thats why he had looked so familiar. He was one of the main characters in "Must Love Dogs".
So without realizing it, I saw two Christopher Plummer movies - made about 30 years apart - on the same day. What a great actor to have such a long career.
Telling Off A Doctor
I had to go back to Glendale Adventist Hospital today. I guess something questionable showed up on the MRI on my other breast, the right one.
Of course, no one communicated that to me.
I arrived at the Ultrasound area, and a very young technician starts to question me. I ask her "Are we just doing an ultrasound today? Are you going to do anything else ? Are you going to have to inject me with anything ? I can't have epinephrine. " I guess my suspicions were up.
"Oh, no" she replied, "Just a regular ultrasound today."
Or should I say "she lied".
The technician starts to examine me. She is digging the ultrasound device into my right armpit. I mean, she is pressing really really hard. For a good 15 minutes, or what seems like an eternity.
She can't find what she is looking for. She even whispers under her breath "I can't find it." And it hurts because she is pressing so hard.
All the time I am starting to panic, and get heart palpitations, because I realize that the lymph nodes are in the armpit area. And I am panicking that they must have seen something in my armpit and, oh dear God, this is serious. And on top of that, this technician can't find the dern thing !
Soon, the Radiologist/Doctor walks in. The technician says to her "I can't find it."
The Doctor takes the Ultrasound device, and moves it to my nipple area.
And the Doctor locates what they are looking for immediately.
The technician wasn't even anywhere near the correct area ! I endured all that pain for nothing.
The Doctor is looking at the Ultrasound TV screen, and after 2 seconds says matter-of-factly "Ok, I am going to do a biopsy."
She repeats "I am going to do a biopsy on your right breast."
"TODAY ? NOW ? I can't do this now ...... I have to go back to work ! The last one I had, I took two days off to recover."
The Doctor straightens up and gets a snobby attitude "The way I do a Biopsy, All of my patients can go right back to work the very same day."
I sit up "A biopsy like the one I had last time ? No, I need a day to recover. I wasn't planning on this."
I get off the examining table. I am completely panicking now.
I say "Plus, you can't use epinephrine on me - I am hypoglycemic."
The doctor says "Oh, I don't have to use epinephrine - that just helps control the bleeding."
Me : "The bleeding ? Oh, no ... and I have been taking 400 IUs of Vitamin E everyday."
(Vitamin E can thin out your blood.)
The doctor : "Oh, I really don't care about the Vitamin E, it doesn't matter."
Did this woman just say Vitamin E doesn't matter ? So basically, with no epinephrine, and the vitamin E in my system , I am going to end up bleeding all over her table.
I say "Absolutely no way. No one drove me today. I drove myself, I thought I was just getting an ultrasound. I want it scheduled for a Thursday, like I did last time."
She turns to the inept technician and tells her to take me to the front desk and schedule it for Thursday. And she leaves, without so much as a "See you Thursday" - she was mad that I wouldn't let her start slicing me open.
Its just me and the idiot technician, and I start to cry. Not only can't the technician read an ultrasound machine, she isn't very good at comforting patients
We get to the front desk. The Doctor and one other assistant is there.
The doctor says something to me about the schedule.
I say "I am going to call my Breast Surgeon and talk to her, and see if the doctor who did my first biopsy, can also do this one as well."
Doctor : "Well, the thing is, they just can't read these films as accurately as I can".
Me : "I don't want you doing a biopsy on me because I feel you do not adequately prepare your patients for their procedures."
She turned on her heels, and walked away from me without a word.
The two assistants looked shocked, their eyes wide round circles popping out of their heads.
Wow, did I really say that ? I sure put her in her place. Considering how upset I was about the entire thing, I was amazed I managed to tell her off in a sentence that made sense.
I get out to the parking lot. I call the Breast Surgeon and start crying to her assistant. My doctor calls me back.
I explain the whole situation, and how pushy this other doctor was, and how uncomfortable she made me.
"I didn't have anyone drive me. I didn't bring my fruit juice and protein bars for my hypoglycemia. I've been taking Vitamin E."
My doctor says "You weren't prepared, and some people need to be prepared. Its okay, you can have it done on another day."
I tell her I am calling the doctor who did my first biopsy, to see if she can do this one.
I guess there is some question about the technology and if the other Doctor has the experience to read the MRI film. But I don't care, I will drive to Tim-buck-to if I have to, to find a different doctor who can do the biopsy.
I stop and have lunch in Los Feliz at what looked to be a cute outdoor cafe. The food was terrible. Or is it because I gave up Diary, and I am eating a chefs salad without any cheese on it....
As I am eating, I leave the doctor who did the first biopsy a message about doing this biopsy. Turns out she is out of town until Tuesday.
Once back at work, my breast surgeon calls to see how I am doing. I tell her I am okay. And I make sure to say "I am going to get this biopsy done, just not with that doctor." And I tell her I have left the other doctor a voicemail.
Once she hears this, she seems to relax a bit.
Later on, my breast surgeon calls me with the results of my blood tests from the other day. Turns out I am anemic after all. Thats why I felt faint the other day.
She wants me to add Beef back into my diet a few times a week. And I tell her I had switched to a Multi-vitamin with no Iron. She says no, she wants me to take a multi-vitamin with iron.
I said that I have read in at least two books about breast cancer, to stop taking Iron because it helps feed the tumor.
Her response was something like, yes, the tumor sucks up alot of things - and its probably making me anemic, so right now I need the iron in my diet.
Okay, I guess that makes sense to me. At least, I won't feel so week.
Another weird thing - I was low in protein. She was concerned because I said I eat some protein at every meal since I am hypoglycemic.
But maybe it is the tumor as well. Because it doesn't make sense.
Then another weird thing ... my sugar was high. And with hypoglycemia, it should be low. It took alittle while for me to remember that the day I had the blood test, it was really hot - and I drank a regular sugared Coke out of the machine because my bottled water had become warm.
That was probably it. I have stopped drinking Diet Sodas now. Occasionally, I will have a regular soda, maybe once a week. But I guess I better watch that too. No diet soda, no sugared soda - just water. No fun.
She did say my one kidney was healthy (The left one was removed as a child.) And since it is healthy I can go ahead and do more tests next week.
More tests, what fun. I can hardly wait.
Added pics to my Tiki Party entry ...
Deuce Bigalow - and Jerks on the Internet
A mailing list I am on offered me 2 free tickets to a screening of Deuce Bigalow .
Yeah, its not really my normal kind of movie but right now I need to see more comedies and lighten up when I can.
Most of my friends are real Film Buffs, and when I mentioned Deuce Bigalow to two of them, the answer was basically "I really want to see a movie with you - but not that one. I can not sit through Rob Schneider in Deuce Bigalow, that would be torture."
I decided to place an Internet Ad on Craigslist for a movie partner for the evening.
I have never done anything like this before. But I figured it wasn't a date. I listed it under "Strictly Platonic" - so it was a fun evening thing to do. I just asked people to send me an email about why they wanted to see Deuce Bigalow, and send me a picture.
I got 12 responses.
About 3 of the responses where just "Cut and Paste" Bios. "Hi, I'm nice, romantic and like to walk on the beach."
Not a word about the movie, or anything having to do with movies in general.
I deleted those.
A few weren't really in the age range that I was looking for. Or they sounded more like they were looking for a relationship instead of just going to see a movie. Or they couldn't spell or put a sentence together.
I deleted those.
There were about 3 left that were possibilities.
The final one stated he had seen a first Deuce Bigalow movie and really liked it. Gave me brief description of himself. He sent me his picture and his cell phone number.
We have a winner.
I called him up. Asked if he wanted to meet me for the movie. He sounded a little hesitant but he said he was working right now. I gave him directions and told him I would meet him at the theatre.
When I got there, I was about 5 minutes late. No one hanging out who matched the picture.
It turned out that my tickets were VIP tickets. We also got a soda and popcorn. We got to sit with the Sony Executives and the Press.
And we got to go into the theatre right away.
There was a huge line of people waiting for General Seating. The line extended out to the street. I walked down the line looking for him.
By now it was 10 minutes past our meeting time.
I called his number. I got the machine.
"Hey, I hope you aren't in the long general admission line. We have VIP seats, so I am waiting at the front door. We can go in anytime."
Another 15 minutes passed.
They started to let in the General Admission ticket holders.
I left his ticket at the VIP table.
I called him again. I got his machine.
"I can't find you. I am leaving your ticket at the VIP table. Just pick it up, and we can meet up after the movie."
He never showed up. Totally stood me up. Dang, I had 11 other people who wanted to go with me .. and I pick the jerk.
And that was really dumb of him, considering I have both his email address and his cell phone number. I really could have took revenge on him and signed him up for porno mailing lists, or posted his phone number on internet message boards.
See, I thought about it ... But I didn't do it.
I am learning it is best to stay away from disfunctional toxic people, and just move on.
Before the movie, I had a nice chat with a reviewer from a Spanish newspaper. We had a nice intelligent conversation about his movie going experiences and how movie-going differs between Spain and the U.S.
That guy from Craigslist never emailed or called with an apology for showing up.
Oh... Deuce Bigalow ? I have to say I really liked it. There are some parts in the movie that are completely hysterical. I was laughing so hard.
It really is funny. Not normally my cup of tea - it is really raunchy and dirty in some parts. But it really was a hysterically funny movie.
Telling My Agent
I did something today I really didn't want to do.
I told my Agent to put me on "hold". Maybe for about 2 months.
I explained the situation with my health.
Oh, I did not want to do this. I want to be going out on commercial audtions.
But it is all to much for me to handle right now. I need to cut back, and only handle necessary things.
I have to admit that I am sick right now, and I need time to deal with it.
Soon this will all be over, and I can go back to Acting.
MRI, Blood Test and Veins
The testing is starting. I drove to Glendale Adventist Hospital to have an MRI on both Breasts. Turns out they are the only hospital in the area with the fancy MRI machine that does this.
It was kind of fun being in the room with the MRI Machine. Its very powerful.
The first technician has told me to just undress from the waist up, and put the smock on.
When the second technician came in - a woman - she asked me about any jewelry.
I said, "No, but my jeans have a metal snap."
She replied "You have to go take those off. The machine will rip those right off of you."
When she came back, she was getting me ready for the MRI. She had a bobby pin in her hair and she said could feel the machine trying to grab it. I asked "What do you mean?"
She took out the bobby pin, and held it up - It flew out of her hand and attached to the MRI machine.
Wow. Pretty interesting.
I asked how come the MRI machine didn't rip out the fillings in my teeth, or the titanium marker they placed on the tumor in my left breast.
The machine only grabs metal. Magnets won't grab silver and titanium.
As they prepared my hand with a IV catheter for the contrasting material, we joked about engagement rings. They said you can always tell if your engagement ring is real gold - because the MRI won't grab it if it is. Only if its a cheap phony engagement ring.
I told them they could earn some money on the side by providing that service to newly engaged woman.
As usual, my veins were not cooperating with the needles. They are to small, and they hide. Most of the time they have to use a Baby Needle or a Butterfly Needle on me.
The male technician started to make Vein Jokes, which got me giggling.
"Gee, looks like you left your good veins at home."
I ended up with the IV Catheter on top of my hand. When I had been in emergency, they had placed in on the side of my wrist.
Lying in the Breast MRI machine is not comfortable. You have to lay on your stomach with your breasts in cups underneath you.
Your arms above your head, and your head tilted to the side.
The MRI machine starts its clanging, and it gets warm inside the MRI tunnel. I kept saying "Its warm in here."
I told them I like to know how long each test is, to please tell me when it starts. So they would say "Ok, this next test is 7 minutes."
And I would listen to the clanging, and try to count out the 7 minutes.
I tried not to fall asleep - it was warm, and I was counting. I toss and turn in my sleep, and I didn't want to fall asleep and roll over in the middle of a test.
Finally, they inserted the Contrasting Agent in the IV Catheter. It was cold, but did not hurt.
After the test was over, I went to the Cafeteria to eat lunch. Glendale Adventist really has a nice cafeteria. I got a chicken salad.
Then sitting in my car before driving home, I realized that the car was really Hot inside. It was easily 5 times hotter than the inside of the MRI machine. But being in the MRI machine, the warm temperature really bothered me. The heat in the car (which can be dangerous) didn't phase me one bit.
It made me realize that alot of the fear from these medical tests is psychological.
I drove over in the hot, hot car to Glendale Memorial for the blood tests that the Breast Surgeon had ordered. Gee, two hospitals in one day.
When I walked into the Lab, they looked at the bandaids on my hands and were alittle freaked out.
"Did you already give blood?" asked one person behind the desk.
No, I told them, I had an MRI, and I was told that the contrasting agent would not interfere with the blood tests they were going to do.
Of course, once inside the Lab Technician poked and prodded.
I said "My veins are to small. You have to use a Baby Needle or a Butterfly Needle".
She didn't want to at first. But after giving me a good sized bruise on my arm, she changed her mind.
I guess having breast cancer is making me more aware of my mortality, and I am tending to appreciate things more and be alittle nostalgic and sentimental. I have had the desire to get in touch with many people from my past, and touch base with them and see how they are doing. Even if it is to just email or chat on the phone. A few times its resulted in meeting for lunch or hanging out. Or ... at least saying we are going to meet for lunch and hang out. A few people have even ended up recommending churches or cancer groups that a friend or relative went to.
I end up feeling good that I have touched base with someone I have lost contact with. Its made me realize that in the City of L.A., there is so much going on that its easy to move on to the next thing, and forget about friends left behind.
So I emailed a group of four friends that I had lost touch with. I think I have emailed them about three times in the last four years, but we really haven't stayed connected. This time I told them I had breast cancer, and what was happening with the doctors, and told them I was thinking about them.
Three of them emailed me back encouraging words, one person suggesting we meet up soon maybe one day after work. The last person emailed me, and the tone of their email was something like "I'm sorry you have cancer. But I don't want you to email me anymore. You have always been a selfish person, and you don't care about anyone but yourself. Three years ago you did this certain thing which was really rude. And four years ago you did another thing which was rude. And one time when I emailed you three years ago, you didn't email me back. If you paid more attention to me and what was going on in my life, then maybe I would be more interested in your life."
End of email.
I was sitting at my desk, trying not to cry. At first I took it pretty personally.
Then I thought - maybe there is something really wrong with this person. Maybe they are sick, or having mental problems.
I called two of the other friends and asked them what was going on. Was this cruel person in trouble? Was this person still mentally stable ?
They just replied to let it go, because they both know that this person says alot of things not caring who they hurt, or how rude they are being, when they say them.
This person justs open their mouth and whatever they want comes out, with no thought to the other person.
If this person had really wanted to constructively deal with issues in what they perceived to be flaws in my personality, they would have talked to me about these issues years ago when they first happened. I mean, I have known this person for 20 years. Yeah, thats right - Twenty Years.
If they had brought them up back then, I think they could have had a valid point. Or if they had written to me 6 months ago and said them, I still would have listened.
But they waited until I told them I had cancer, to reply and tell me what a rotten person I was 3 years ago.
What a horrid, inhuman thing to do to someone ... kicking someone when they are down. It was the most cruel thing I think anyone has ever done to me.
I felt like they waited until I was at my worst, just to squash me and try to destroy me.
I talked to the Stephens Minister about this, and two other friends. They all told me the same thing. The response I received has nothing to do with me. It was all about this person and whatever their problems are. A truly sincere person would not behave that way. Especially when it is so easy to just delete an email from someone you don't like. They could have deleted my email, or blocked my email account, and just ignored me.
I thought about writing this person a letter and I started one. I tried to rationalize and imagine what they were thinking. Were they afraid of sick people and needed to push me away for their own emotional safety.
After a day or two I decided that someone that cruel was not worth the time or effort for me to reach out any further.
To say these things to me, on the day I tell them that I have cancer, was just horrid and inhuman.
And its best to stay as far away as possible from someone like that.
Right now I need positive and rational people in my life.
My doctor had given me the names of Two Breast Suregeons to talk to. The first one, who is with Glendale Memorial Hospital made an appointment with me almost right away. The second one, who was through the UCLA Medical Center, has about a 3 week wait for an appointment.
Today was my appointment with the first Doctor. We had a long conversation in her office.
I liked her right away because she asked me "Did they tell you what you have?"
I said "Yes, Beast Cancer".
She said "Ok, I wanted to make sure you already knew you had Breast Cancer before I started to discuss treatment. Sometimes women come in and no one has told them it is breast cancer, so they walk into the office not knowing."
I thought that was great that she was so sensitive. I think it is good that she wanted to hear me say the words "Breast Cancer" first.
We went over the entire details of what was going on with me.
She showed me my Mammogram from 2002, which was clear and healthy. Then she showed me my recent Mammogram which had alot of white cloudy stuff going on. I was shocked at the change.
"How did that happen?" I asked.
She said, alot of reasons, Hormones for one, as I was peri-menopausal.
But there are alot of tests to do first .
They have to double-check and make sure there is no cancer anywhere else in my Breasts via a MRI.
Then, they have to check to see if there is cancer anywhere else in my body via a CT Scan and a Bone Scan.
They will check for Cancer in my Lymph Nodes while they are removing the tumor, with a Lymph Node Biopsy.
If nothing else shows up on any of these other tests, I will only need a Lumpectomy, followed by about 6 weeks of local radiation to the breast area.
If something shows up on the other tests, then we will figure it out then.
If the cancer is only in my left breast, then I only need localized radiation treatment. They would only do chemotherapy if there is anymore cancer located in another part of my body.
I was very happy to hear that.
I thought I was very brave, and handling it all very well... until she mentioned one thing.
She said she thought the Cancerous Tumor was far enough away from my Nipple, that she would be able to save the Nipple area.
Then, I started crying.
I guess I was thinking I would lose my Nipple. I didn't realize how important keeping my Nipple would be to me. When she said that I was never happier in my life.
Turns out that the type of Cancer I have, which is basically Cancer of the Milk Duct - is usually located right behind the nipple. And since along with the Tumor, they usually remove a certain amount of normal tissue around it to make sure they get it all. This usually means that the nipple area has to be removed.
But my tumor is in a milk duct, just below my nipple, at about six o'clock. So there is enough room for the surgeon to remove enough tissue, and possibly for me to
keep the nipple.
We then went into the examining room. She has an ultrasound machine. She looked at the Tumor, and at my lymph nodes. My lymph nodes look good, so it is promising that I won't have to go through having them removed.
We went over more of what would need to be removed.
She said she might have to remove part of the Areola of my nipple. Gee, I never thought of my nipple as having "pieces". I just think of it all as one piece. I guess medically it is not.
The areola would probably just be cut off ending in a straight line at the bottom.
And since they are removing tissue at the bottom of my breast, my nipple might point downward, or in a different direction. Tho I could have reconstruction surgery at a later date to fix that if I wanted.
But at this point I really didn't care about all of that.... I was just happy that I get to keep all my "Parts".
We made appointments for me to get a Blood Test, and MRI, The CT Scan and the Bone Scan.
Looks like I am going to very busy with doctor appointments for a bit...
But she expects me to be in surgery roughly within 3 weeks. They don't want to wait on these things.
Once I got back to the office, I decided I didn't want to wait the 3 weeks for the appointment with the Breast Surgeon at UCLA. I liked the Doctor I met this afternoon just fine, and I like what she was going to do. She would have me in surgery in three weeks, but if I waited for the UCLA doctor I would just be meeting her for the first time in three weeks.
I can at least go through all the tests she is requesting and then if something happens that I don't like, then I can switch to the UCLA doctor and the tests will already be done.
I feel time is of the essence right now, and I don't want to wait to long for anything.
My Sunday started off by teaching Sunday School to the 3 years olds.
Then after a relaxing afternoon, I headed over to The Egyptian Theatre to volunteer.
It was a Tiki event. With movies about the Tiki culture, and a Tiki dinner in the courtyard. I mainly stood at the front of the line and stamped the hands of people who bought a meal. There were around 250 people who paid for the dinner. And I hand-stamped them all.
It was a very fun night. I got to chat with alot of the Theatre regulars. Alot of people were in "Tiki" themed attire. There was good music,good food, and nice warm weather. Perfect for having dinner in the Egyptian Theatre Courtyard.
*** Tiki Party Pics..... thanks to Bruce for the pics... ***
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