Deuce Bigalow - and Jerks on the Internet
A mailing list I am on offered me 2 free tickets to a screening of Deuce Bigalow .
Yeah, its not really my normal kind of movie but right now I need to see more comedies and lighten up when I can.
Most of my friends are real Film Buffs, and when I mentioned Deuce Bigalow to two of them, the answer was basically "I really want to see a movie with you - but not that one. I can not sit through Rob Schneider in Deuce Bigalow, that would be torture."
I decided to place an Internet Ad on Craigslist for a movie partner for the evening.
I have never done anything like this before. But I figured it wasn't a date. I listed it under "Strictly Platonic" - so it was a fun evening thing to do. I just asked people to send me an email about why they wanted to see Deuce Bigalow, and send me a picture.
I got 12 responses.
About 3 of the responses where just "Cut and Paste" Bios. "Hi, I'm nice, romantic and like to walk on the beach."
Not a word about the movie, or anything having to do with movies in general.
I deleted those.
A few weren't really in the age range that I was looking for. Or they sounded more like they were looking for a relationship instead of just going to see a movie. Or they couldn't spell or put a sentence together.
I deleted those.
There were about 3 left that were possibilities.
The final one stated he had seen a first Deuce Bigalow movie and really liked it. Gave me brief description of himself. He sent me his picture and his cell phone number.
We have a winner.
I called him up. Asked if he wanted to meet me for the movie. He sounded a little hesitant but he said he was working right now. I gave him directions and told him I would meet him at the theatre.
When I got there, I was about 5 minutes late. No one hanging out who matched the picture.
It turned out that my tickets were VIP tickets. We also got a soda and popcorn. We got to sit with the Sony Executives and the Press.
And we got to go into the theatre right away.
There was a huge line of people waiting for General Seating. The line extended out to the street. I walked down the line looking for him.
By now it was 10 minutes past our meeting time.
I called his number. I got the machine.
"Hey, I hope you aren't in the long general admission line. We have VIP seats, so I am waiting at the front door. We can go in anytime."
Another 15 minutes passed.
They started to let in the General Admission ticket holders.
I left his ticket at the VIP table.
I called him again. I got his machine.
"I can't find you. I am leaving your ticket at the VIP table. Just pick it up, and we can meet up after the movie."
He never showed up. Totally stood me up. Dang, I had 11 other people who wanted to go with me .. and I pick the jerk.
And that was really dumb of him, considering I have both his email address and his cell phone number. I really could have took revenge on him and signed him up for porno mailing lists, or posted his phone number on internet message boards.
See, I thought about it ... But I didn't do it.
I am learning it is best to stay away from disfunctional toxic people, and just move on.
Before the movie, I had a nice chat with a reviewer from a Spanish newspaper. We had a nice intelligent conversation about his movie going experiences and how movie-going differs between Spain and the U.S.
That guy from Craigslist never emailed or called with an apology for showing up.
Oh... Deuce Bigalow ? I have to say I really liked it. There are some parts in the movie that are completely hysterical. I was laughing so hard.
It really is funny. Not normally my cup of tea - it is really raunchy and dirty in some parts. But it really was a hysterically funny movie.
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