Commercial audition
 | Today I had a audition for a big national brand product. I had been feeling so low and down because it had been a while since I had auditioned for anything that would actually pay, I was getting alittle sad about it. Then, to get a call from my Agent last night that out of the blue I was going in for a commercial for a very popular product. Oh, wow... things are looking up. |
The role called for me to be in pajamas. The part was that I was asleep and had been rudely woken up. My audition time was 2 pm. I brought my jammies and some hair curlers. I got there about 1:40, and had plenty of time to go into the bathroom to change into my jammies and hair rollers.
There was no sign saying what room our specific audition was in, so I just looked for the little bunch of chubby women in pajamas. Thats where I was supposed to be.
Being that I am 40-something, and on the plus-size range of things.. you have to understand that I am walking into a room of other 40-something plus size women. It is a room filled with my Clones. We are all the same "Type". So as you read this, imagine a waiting room, filled with about 20 or more plus-sizes 40-ish women in their pajamas and curlers. This is Acting.
Now at this point, my brain starts to work overtime. "She's 10 years older than me - I wonder if what they want is someone older"? "She's 20 pounds heavier than me - I wonder if they want someone heavier". Or skinnier, or younger, or darker, or lighter. The Crazy Actress in my head freaks out alittle bit. I do my best to quiet her down and be at peace with my surroundings. And be Thankful to God that I have this opportunity.
Just as I am becoming "At One With the Universe" in the audition waiting area, the lady in pajamas next to me starts complaining... loudly . "Oh, how much longer do we have to wait ? I have somewhere to be. I got here at 2:00 because I thought they would see me at 2:00. I can't sit here and wait." Blah, Blah, Blah ...
I move to another seat, as far away from the Complaining Lady as possible - and I grin contently just in case anyone from the Casting Dept might mistaking associate me with her in any way.
In another Studio, they are auditioning handsome and beautiful upscale African-American young people dressed in formal evening wear, for a completely different Nationally Known Product. The men are in black tuxedos and suits. The women are in fancy cocktail dresses and slinky evening gowns.
I look up and see one of the cute 20-something black actors I know from a theatre company, he is dressed perfectly in a suit. And there I sit in my pajamas and curlers.
Only in Los Angeles ... Only in the Acting Business ....
We smile and say our "How are you's". But we are both to preoccupied with our separate auditions to be able to chat.
The Complaining Lady starts to complain again. "Gee, at least we didn't have to get all dressed up. Some of those women look like sluts."
So I move even farther away from her.
Another women starts talking out of the blue. (Why do some actors feel the need to blabber on when waiting for their turn to audition?")
"You know, I had to go out and buy these pajamas. I sleep in the Nude. I mean, everyone sleeps in the Nude. No one wears pajamas. I mean, who wears pajamas when you can just sleep in the Nude?" She says this to no one specific.
The Complaining Lady, of course, answers her. "You sleep in the Nude in California? Wonder if there is an Earthquake. You'd have to run out in your birthday suit. Maybe if you lived in Florida you could sleep in the nude. But in California, if there is an earthquake, and the building falls on top of you - they will find your body laying in the rubble in the nude. Do you want to die nude?"
By this time, there are no more chairs left... I can't move any further away.
I see the cute young actor I know from across the room. He waves and smiles. He is with his group of Upscale Young Black Actors and Actresses and they are about to go in for their audition in a different studio.
And I estimate that they are probably close to my name on the sign-in list. So I probably should just move closer to the door of the studio anyway. Sure enough, two more chubby women, and then its my turn.
My audition went okay. All you can really do is show up on time, do your best, and pray you are the right "type". And the thing I like about auditions is I always feel they are like little mini-acting classes. There is nothing like the Real Experience. And in this case, I did the scene once. The Casting Assistant behind the camera directed me and made some changes. Then I did my best to do it the way he directed me. And actually I think thats good, because you have to be able to show them that you can take direction and make changes to your performance.
Hurry up, out of my curlers and pajamas - and back into my street clothes. Hurry up, after a two hour lunch - back to my desk job. Staying an hour later after work to make up my extra long lunch break.
But all in all, it was a Good Day. Except for the Complaining Lady ... and the Lady Who Sleeps in The Nude .
